11.18.2006

I Blew It...again

I hate being dissapointed in myself.
Why do those experiences have to happen to us?
Why do we have to fail and make mistakes and...make asses of ourselves?
Perhaps God desires to keep us humble?
Why does he want to humble me so often?
What I hate most is when my teachable moments effect other people.
It would be one thing if I did a bone-headed thing but really I was the only one it effected, it is another thing with other lives are involved, altered, and changed because of the mistakes I make.
And no matter how many times you say sorry - it never feels like it is enough.

11.17.2006

Alone in a Crowd

What makes some experiences so difficult?
Why can we be surrounded by so many people that we have relationships with yet feel so alone?
I was at a party with a group of people and I could not help but observe the many masks individuals were wearing. We all simply strive to make others like us and do what we can to succeed in a dog eat dog world.
I can't help but think of Christ's consistency. There was must conflict that arose within and around his life but that did not alter the way he lived his life. Although he was constantly and closely watched, he did what he knew was right and what fit what was in his heart to do. Perhaps it was because he knew the truth - knew that what happened here on earth ultimately did not matter.
But shouldn't that be the same for us who profess ourselves to be Christian? Don't we claim to have the truth. Claim that this world is only but a brief stop before our eternity in Heaven? Why then do we consume ourselves with success and the favor of others. If we know that these will not last why do they rate so highly in our priorities?
Perhaps we don't really believe that truth.

Drawing Lines

I listened to a lecture last night in which the lecturer engaged listeners on the importance of Child Protection Policies. It was a good discussion and lecture - I agreed completely on the importance of establishing policies for an organization that maintain the protection of the children they serve. However, the discussion when in an interesting direction.
One of the women in attendance mentioned her work with children ministries at her church. One of the men that has recently began attending her church is a registered sex offender. They have apparently set up very strict boundaries for this man when it comes to the interaction he can have with the congregation and especially the children of the church. He can only use one particular bathroom, sit in one area of the sanctuary, etc. While I agree there needs to be some hesitation in his aggressive involvement with the community I can't help but be a bit disturbed by the boundaries that are being drawn.
Where do we draw the line? How do we bring in grace? redemption? love and forgiveness? When Christ deals with the outcasts and those who have done the "unforgivable" and "unfathomable" sins - he welcomes them as the prodigal son. He treats them no different, extending the same grace we all need because we are all just as depraved.
So, where do we draw the line? Is it more important to keep our kids safe and draw a vivid line of protection policy allowing this man to only use one bathroom and sit banished to one corner of the sanctuary - or do we begin to forgive and extend grace, knowing that we are no better than he is. We are capable of the very same sin.