Kidney Bean Soup

I had a couple cans of kidney beans from when I was on the 4 Hour Body kick. I am still sort of on it, but I really do not like beans, so I am trying to find out creative ways to get rid of the beans that have been sitting on my shelf for a year now. So I decided tonight to get rid of my kidney beans.

I found a couple of recipes online but none of them were quite right, so I combine a bunch of the ideas and came up with my own soup.

And not to toot my own horn, but I AM AMAZING. you need to eat this.

Put some olive oil in a big pot (also, when i cook, i typically do not measure things, so all of this is just a guess cause I just started throwing things in a pan)
Add half an onion. Cook until onion is translucent.
Add four cloves of garlic.

 Add one can of broth (I used beef broth because that I what I had at home, but I think chicken or vegetable would work just as well)
Add one can of water
Add two cans of kidney beans
Add one can of diced tomatoes.

Add some chopped broccoli
Add some chopped celery

Add two TBSP of dijon mustard
Add some italian seasoning
Add salt and pepper to taste

Simmer for about 15-20 minutes.
Add some fresh spinach and cook another 5 minutes.

I put some avocado on the top as a garnish and it was delicious!

I am trying to figure out why I don’t like church

I once read an article that shared the top five things people confess or regret on their deathbeds and one of them was “I wish I were more authentic or honest about what I really thought.” That resonated with me because I think lots of thoughts and I don’t like to share them except with my very best friends because I think a lot of those thoughts I am not supposed to have.  Does that make sense? Well, maybe it does and maybe it does not  - but it is how I feel. But I’ve decided to think what I think and share those thoughts regardless of how I think others are going to react. So here is my first shot at that. I don’t like church. I know I am supposed to, because every good Christian girl does, but I don’t. Authenticity wins over perception. 

I am trying to figure out why I don’t like church. Because it seems weird to me. I grew up in the church, and I don’t feel any bitterness or resentment for the time that I spent there. And I really love God and feel I have a good “relationship” with God (although I struggle to know what a “relationship” with the divine actually looks like…but that is a conversation for another day). But I can’t figure it out. Maybe if I talk it out a bit and type out my jumbled ideas stream of thought it might become clearer (NOTE: that might make this miserable to read!)

Perhaps it is because people and relationships seem inauthentic. Church is supposed to be where you go to deal with your ish. To face a God that is both just and full of grace. To bring all that you are and say: this is me; the good the bad and the ugly. And what do you know? I’m not the only crazy one! There are others like me that struggle with this stuff but that are also beautiful and poetic and artistic and try to see the beauty in the world and make it a better place. 

The one time I can remember in the recent past LOVING church was a house church I was part of. We called it “coffee church.” Each home took turns hosting. If you were hosing you got up early, cleaned your place, made the coffee and opened your house up to whoever wanted to come over that morning. And what did we do? We chatted. About life. About God. About nothing. About everything. We got to know one another. We cared about each other. It wasn’t anything even remotely organized or resembling a “real” church – but it was perfect. I was more real and authentic with that group of people than I have ever been in an institutionalized church because we got to know each other. We were in a community which meant we were in each other’s lives outside of one hour a week on Sunday’s. We genuinely cared about each other and what went on in our lives. 

But that does not happen in church. In church – you have to have it all together. Don’t believe me? Bring a homeless person with you to church and see how everyone squirms. Bring a prostitute and see how much everyone whispers. Bring someone going through alcohol or drug withdrawal twitching a lot and see people anxious and kept back.

Everyone tries to keep it together at church – to prove that they are the best Christian. And when you go to the churches that are the kind of places you can admit that you are an alcoholic or sex addict or struggling with something it is almost a contest to see WHO is the biggest sinner. Who has struggled most and overcome it and has the tattoos to prove how far they have come? 

Or perhaps I do not like church because the worship feels inauthentic.

I have always gone to non-liturgical churches that are not exactly charismatic but friendly to the spirit and not afraid of turning down the lights, setting the mood and plucking at your heart strings with the worship leaders guitar. And for some reason that just gets under my skin now. I literally start to itch, my stomach gets nauseated and I start overheating. I am not sure when this reaction started and why, I just know that this environment is no longer conducive to worship for me. It is almost like I feel manipulated. 

In a liturgical church I know that it could still be seen as putting on a show since things are so programmed, but it does not feel that way. To me it feels like I am stepping into history, into a legacy, into a heritage of forefathers and foremothers that have gone before me. I am singing their songs and reading their words of testimony to the great God they sought to love and understand. I love that feeling of entering into a greater story. Of singing and chanting these historical words – it makes modern worship songs feel almost empty and shallow. I understand that they are not – and they move a great number of people in mighty ways, just not me…

Spencer Burke, founder of The Ooze and Mission Planting once said “sometimes to really love the church you have to walk away from her” and I think that’s what I’ve had to do in these last couple of years. I love God, a lot, and I have not lost faith in the church – I just don’t know how to love her and still be part of her at the same time right now. I don’t doubt that will happen again, I just have to be patient with the journey and learn something in the meantime. 

I guess that’s all I have for now…maybe I’ll process more on the church later.

Oaks Gourmet

Tonight we made another stop on the Burger Tour 11-12!

Tonight we went to The Oaks Gourmet. Um....amazing.

It is a market, and has barely any seating, but everything on the menu looks and smells amazing. And the burger did NOT disappoint.

The Dry Aged Burger
A half poud of our dry aged blend with taleggio cheese, black forest bacon, red onion, tomato, baby arugula, and our smoked jalapeno-pineapple compote on toasted brioche

WHAT???!!! you won't even believe what hit your mouth. it jumped right up to our number one spot. GO THERE.

Also, as a side note: it is a really really great place to people-watch. 

Lentil Stew with Sausage

Some friends and I are trying a new diet called the Four Body Diet where we can't eat any carbs, fruit or dairy (pretty much anything good!). But we can eat as much beans, meat and vegetables we want.

So my roommate and I have found some creative recipes that we can make that taste good and don't break any rules.

Last night we made a Lentil Stew with Sausage

1 tbsp. olive oil
2 onions chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
4 carrots, coarsely chopped or sliced
1 lb smoked beer sausage, sliced (we used ground pork sausage)
1 lb. lentils rinsed and drained
4 cups chicken or vegetable broth (we used both)
1 tsp. dried sage (we used italian seasoning)
1 tsp. dried thype (we used italian seasoning)
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
1 tsp. salt
1 lb. fresh kale or spinach, stems trimmed, leaves chopped (we used spinach and did not chop the leaves cause I did not read that part)

In a 6 to 8-quart pot or Dutch oven, heat oil over medium-high heat. Saute onions, garlic and carrots until soft, abut 10 minutes. Add sausage, lentils, brother, italian seasoning, pepper and salt. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, until lentils are barely tender, about 20 minutes. Stir in spinach. Bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes or until lentils are tender. Ladle into soup bowls.

Makes 8 servings.

It was simple and really delicious. And the leftovers are JUST AS GOOD!!!

Purpose

Every so often when we hit the streets on a Friday night, we feel like our purpose is crystal clear. We always know why we are out on the street, what message we want to communicate and how we want to share the love of God with these women. But at times it is easy to get discouraged: do they really hear us? Do they believe? Will they remember even though we didn't get a chance to talk to them for very long?

Friday night Ben, Lindsay and I met up at 1:30a. We spent some time in prayer as we usually do - but this time our prayer was specifically asking that we would run into a woman that really needed to hear from God. That needed to be encouraged or challenged and met on the streets tonight, the woman that wanted to speak with us because she was at that place where she was breaking.

And that is exactly what God did.

The very first woman we say after driving down the track for about three blocks was BI. She was on the phone, as usual, and seemed in a hurry to get somewhere. When we approached her to give her a bag she looked confused. She asked what it was for and why we were talking to her. We said we were out here talking to the ladies - that we wanted to let her know how deeply God loves her and that he has big plans for her life if she ever wants to get out of this. 

BI had an almost scared look on her face as she began shaking her head and saying "You've GOT to be kidding me!" over and over again.

She proceeded to tell us that she was on the phone with her sister and had just been talking about how she was scared and tired and wanted to get out of the game. She was done. She wanted a change. She has two kids and didn't want them to have to grow up in fear and watching their mom come home with bruises, watching her have to sell her body to make a living and making them susceptible to the violence of the pimp that controlled her life. 

We walked with her down the street for a while because she was uncomfortable standing in one place, she felt like she was being followed. And eventually gave her a ride to the metro station so she could go get off the street and home to her kids. 

She was not ready to seek help at the moment - she was too scared of her pimps retaliation or what would happen to her kids - but we left her with our phone number as well as the number to three rehab centers around Los Angeles that she could seek help from.

We were able to pray with her, talk to her about how beautiful and special and unique she is and how much God truly truly LOVES her.

It was not a coincidence that we ran into BI Friday night - that she was at the end of her rope hoping for a way out and God brought a way to her. 

We ended up spending around an hour with her. What a privilege to step into life with her, pray with her, love her, cry with her and seek to share a glimpse of hope with her in the midst of a really scary time.

Pray with us that BI has the courage to make a change in her life - that she would not give into fear but she would choose to pick up the phone and get some help.