All Those Bible Verses That Apply To You...But I'm Not Sure If They Apply To Me

I just turned 30. That gives you reason to pause and reflect a bit on where you have come from, where you are going and what you are doing with your life. And if you are the kind of person that believes in God – He’ll likely be a central role in those reflections.

Let me introduce my backstory just a bit. I grew up in a loving Christian home. My dad was a youth pastor in a congregation for a while before taking to traveling and speaking (like a missionary) full time. My parents also lead short-term mission trips during the summers across Western Europe. In high school I far too closely resembled Mandy Moore from the movie “Saved”. Somehow I ended up at seminary where I studied Theology and Cross-Cultural Studies. In my travels around the world I gained a heart for the vulnerable and oppressed, specifically the sexually exploited. So I focused my cross-cultural studies on that demographic. In the midst of seminary I began volunteering with an organization called After Hours Ministry, a street outreach to men and women who are prostituted in Los Angeles. I now work with them on staff.

The problem is, as I’ve gotten to know God more – the more distant He’s felt. The more silent He’s gotten. I love reading about saints like Mother Theresa and learning that a majority of her life was a dark night of the soul. I don’t envy her – and I hope that is not how the rest of my story goes – but I really do struggle at times to see how she pushed through. How she cognitively clung to promises she had no actual experience of.

And that’s what brings us to the title of this post.

I read things like Psalm 9:10, “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Or Psalm 27:1, “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?”
Or Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Or Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

And I believe it (yes, I know I am proof-texting and out of context, hang with me) – I’ll tell the men and women who are prostituted on the streets of L.A. I meet those very words with all sincerity – the problem is…I really don’t think they apply to me.

Sometimes the Bible feels so big and impersonal. Full of contradictions you aren’t sure which pieces to hold on to and how to reconcile the others.

I believe fiercely in a God of justice that longs for human flourishing. That cares passionately for the oppressed.

I think the reason I have a hard time translating that to my own life is because I don’t think I’ve suffered as much as the pain I see in the world, so I translate that to God being busy passionately pursuing and attending to those others with the “real” problems. This is the same reason I have never once taken the time to talk to a pastor or leader at any church I have been at, always saying in the back of my mind “they are probably very busy and there are other people with ‘real’ problems that need their time.”

How do I expect God to care about my deep loneliness or the unbalance in my life when chemical weapons are being used in Syria?  Or when young boys and girls are being enslaved and prostituted…

Or when there is drunkenness
Or when there is divorce
Or when there is adultery
Or when there is codependency
Or when there is homophobia
Or when there is addiction
Or when there is sickness
Or when there is death

It is hard to believe God is that big. And not rolling His eyes at me when I pray my small prayers and requests.

I think that is why we need community. That’s the only way the Bible and God begin to make sense. Because when I have a hard time believing those promises apply to me that’s when God sends a Krissy into my life to say “God told me to love you” and maybe that’s enough right now in this dark night of the soul. Maybe God will choose to be silent a whole longer but He sends others along the way to speak to me on his behalf, to help me to believe or to believe for me.

If you have a hard time believing the truths in the Bible that God loves you, will not forsake you, and blesses those who seek Him – I’d love to hear from you. Cause I have a hard time believing that for myself too – but I believe it for you, and sometimes it’s easier to see God moving in someone else’s story – so I’d love to hear yours.

The post All Those Bible Verses That Apply To You…But I’m Not Sure If They Apply To Me appeared first on The Salt Collective.

Why Doesn't Washington Look Like Me?

We all make biased decisions. And if you say “not me” you’re lying. So what I don’t understand is why those that represent America aren’t actually more….representative. Perhaps it is because campaigns have gotten so out of hand and a typical lower or middle class person with a modest or poor living would not stand a chance running a successful one. So then their voice isn’t heard over those with more fundraising capabilities.

Earlier last month the House of Representatives passed a bill by 217-200 in favor of cutting food stamp benefits.

Eliminate food stamps? Sure!! That’s a great way to save some money and we don’t REALLY have to think about the ramifications when we are an upper or middle class citizen. Do you think if you had someone in the House of Representatives that was ON food stamps right now that conversation would have gone differently?

Cutting food stamps would save us $39 billion over 10 years – but it would impact 4 million Americans on the program. Most of which are children, elderly or disabled. 1 in 7 Americans profit from this program. And 15% of Americans today live in poverty. (All this directly ripped off of the BBC here)

Now, I am not arguing anything against or for that actual bill – it’s probably been vetoed/destroyed/shot down/killed by now – what I am arguing is that stuff like this wouldn’t even end up on the table, or would certainly have a deeper and richer conversation, if our representatives were actually “representative”.

Do you think a governmental shut down would happen for this long if Congress had been forced to take a break from their pay? Or been forced to take furlough? Okay, some of them have voluntarily done this, so let me phrase it a different way – do you think the shutdown would last this long if taking no pay wasn’t an option for them? If they weren’t in such a fantastic place financially (with over half on congress being millionaires) that they are able to look charitable by forgoing they pay they “should be getting”?

The decisions they make don’t impact them in the same way it does those it trickles down to, which is why they are able to so quickly make them. And I understand that they believe they are speaking for their constituencies – but sometimes I wonder if we got a better representation of what America actually is with more diversity of economic status, race, disability, age, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc.; then we would get vastly different decisions and conversations coming out of congress. We all have bias – that’s why we need those different from us to help balance us out – make sure we’re seeing with proper perspective. I don’t think our congress has that. At all.

For other interesting reading:
Congress Millionaires Club 

New Congress Even Wealthier

This post Why Doesn’t Washington Look Like Me? appeared first on The Salt Collective.

Why I dislike the word "real"

I have seen a lot of conferences and blog posts and books and advertisements (and you name it) that cater to letting you know how you can be a "real" man or a "real" woman or "real" christian or "real" adventurer or "real" beauty (or insert "real" here). 

I dislike the word real. I dislike this challenge to be a "real" woman, because how do we know what a "real" woman is?

At this point in my life, I don't have any real strong desire to be a mother. But I have friends that are AMAZING mothers - which one of us is a real woman?

I love to cook. I have friends of mine who would burn down the house if they tried to cook - but they are way better at listening, praying and encouraging others than I am. So, which one of us is a "real" woman?

I am curvy. I have friends that are skinny. I have friends that are mexican and asian and white and ambiguous and tall and short and freckled and tan and flat chested and straight toothed and tatted and curly haired and hairless. So, which one of us is "real" beauty?

I get the heart behind it. The heart behind biblically challenging women that to be a "real" woman (although, don't get me or Rachel Held Evans started on the word "biblical") to read the bible and pray and support your husband and do a  million other things. But what about women without husbands? What about women that suck at praying - women who experience God better out in nature - who commune with God better when they are working with their hands or hiking rather than down on their knees? Does that make them any less real?

We can't define men and women and beauty and Christianity because we can't define humanity. God made everyone different. We experience life uniquely thorough the lens we were created with. 

So please stop defining yourself by these terms. Stop trying to live up to cultures expectations of whether you are a real woman or not. You are real. You are you, and that's as real as you can be. You are beautiful, and unique and perfectly suited to be all God made you to be. Don't try to be anything other than that. And I won't either.

Open Letter to Travelocity

Dear Travelocity,

I work for an amazing company, Fuller Theological Seminary. We have the great privilege of working with and for ministry leaders from all over the world. One such leader is a pastor and seminary professor from Myanmar. In order to be the best professor and pastor he can be he has applied for the Doctor of Ministry program at Fuller. 

We were able to find this pastor a full scholarship for this first course here on campus. A generous and gracious church has covered all his expenses: flight, housing, food, tuition, books - it is a really beautiful thing.

So our office has begun making arrangements to bring him to campus. We booked a flight with you, Travelocity, from Myanmar to Los Angeles for him. A few hours after booking the flight we were contacted via email letting us know it was canceled. 

We called you to inquire as to why the flight had been canceled. After one of my colleagues was on hold with your customer service for one hour and thirty four minutes, you informed us that the passengers name was not acceptable. You see, he only has one name. No first name, only a family name. So when booking the ticket we put in "First Name Unknown" and then his Last Name. My colleague inquired "am I not able to use your service if the passenger does not have an American name?" to which your customer service representative replied, "If they do not have a first and last name, the bank will not allow them to book a ticket."

We are paying for his ticket as the accredited graduate school supporting his studies, so I do not understand why the bank should be an issue. We have a copy of his passport verifying he only has one name - why is it that you cannot complete a simple transaction allowing a citizen from Myanmar to use your service to fly to America?

It baffles me that in today's world we still make things so inaccessible to those who do things differently than us. 

So we booked the flight through Expedia. It took approximately 34 seconds and in the amount of time it took me to write you this letter we already got the confirmation of the ticket. I am glad to see that some companies are willing to work with various cliental from around the world. Thank you, Expedia, I will be using you a lot more in the future.

Sincerely,

Julia

The Significance of Space

Lately I’ve been thinking about the significant of place.

Asking myself questions about where I am at in my journey – looking at how far I have come, asking why I am not further – figuring out what steps I need to take to grow, transform, and awaken my soul.

I got finished reading “Pilgrimage of a Soul” by Phileena Heuertz. And it is a GREAT book. I really related to it in a number of significant ways. But what struck me as she told her story and shared about her journey out of darkness was that much of it took place on a pilgrimage on El Camino de Santiago in Spain and during a sabbatical in North Carolina.

Spirituality would be a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to tease it out in our normal routine.

When I think back on my most profound spiritual experiences, they have taken place camping in a tent underneath a waterfall in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland; watching the sunset against the red rocks in Las Vegas, Nevada; or sitting in the presence of a suffering man in a leper colony in Kathmandu, Nepal.

But each time I come back from those experiences, I slip right back into routine at home and get frustrated losing half of all the progress I’ve made. Sometimes it feels like I need to “go away” in order to make any real significant headway in my spiritual growth.

I just started reading the book “The Solace of Fierce Landscapes” by Belden Lane. First of all, amazing. I have only made it through two chapters, so there is only so much I can say about the book at this point – but I am fairly certain I will be encouraging you all to buy it! In the introduction as he begins to talk about mountain and desert landscapes he says, “Growth in the spiritual life requires adopting a conscious ‘habit of being.’ Far too easily do we embrace the illusion that changing places is the simplest way of changing ourselves.”

And that’s exactly it!

As I embark on this journey of awakening and transformation coming out of this long season of darkness I've been in, I can’t help but feel that things would be easier, or at least faster, if I were not in my normal everyday routine. If I were able to just get away for a 4-month sabbatical or go on a pilgrimage across the highlands of Scotland. If I were able to escape all that constantly frustrates me, and drags me down, and causes me to lose my patience, and those things I lust and obsess over. But you can’t ever escape it. And even if you are lucky enough to get a sabbatical or embark on a pilgrimage, you have to come home sometimes. So you have to learn to develop a spirituality that can survive.

I spent just one day at the Center for Action and Contemplation with Fr. Richard Rohr last week and really enjoyed some of the contemplative routines he implemented throughout the day. He started the day with several minutes of centering prayer. Throughout the day a timer was set so every 20 minutes a bell chimed and the whole class stopped for just 5-10 seconds to pause, detach, and center ourselves from wherever our focus was back on God. And our afternoon break was a 30-45 minute contemplative walk around the neighborhood – trying to clear our minds. Fr. Rohr said to us “don’t think, just look” – and this is a very hard practice to learn. But I want to learn. And I need to learn – to begin to implement new routines in my life to nurture my soul in the everyday.

What are some of your favorite routines that help you to detach and reconnect with God in the midst of the chaos?